“Unless it is indeed the heart’s conversation with a living, personal God, prayer is only wishful thinking. Christian (or biblical) prayer involves active struggle with God– not passive resignation, as in so much mysticism. It springs from a supreme power whom the prophets called ‘the Lord’– not simply from a need for self-understanding or for clearer insight into the nature of ultimate reality. It is not an attempt to control or manipulate God, but an effort to converse with God in order to find out his will for our lives.” –Dr. Donald G. Bloesch
“Prayer is the language of the soul in conversation with God. It is the most intimate gesture of the religious life, and the most transformative.” –Sir Johnathan Sacks
Prayer has always been a bit of a mystery to me; a subject where my questions consistently outnumber any answers I seek, most of which I then struggle to understand and apply practically in my life. I should clarify that I view prayer and meditation on God’s word as separate things, though dependent on one another. I can’t pray effectively without knowing my Bible and I can’t study my Bible deeply without praying for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Studying the Bible comes much more easily and naturally to me. I can research a concept or seek God’s guidance through immersion in the scriptures. I fully believe that everything we need to know to live lives worthy of our callings can be found within those pages. It is completely relevant and, though not always simple, accessible. The Word is powerful, yet still intimate, and my life is blessed the more I meditate upon it and hear God speak to me through it.
Prayer is fuzzier for me, more difficult to mentally grab on to. I struggle with trying to find a formula I should be following. I sometimes pray while driving, before a meal, on my knees, eyes closed, eyes open, face upturned, face down, falling asleep, full of thanksgiving, full of petition, reciting scripture, with a full heart, waiting in silence, for my needs, for others’ needs, for confession, seeking forgiveness, filling the space of anywhere from ten seconds to ten minutes or beyond. But what is most effective? I have experienced prayer that left me with goosebumps and will stand out in my memory as moments I felt closest to God. I have also struggled with feeling futility in it, that somehow my prayers got stuck under the ceiling or that I could scream them and it didn’t feel as though God could hear me, or He already knew what I was going to pray anyway so it didn’t really matter whether I took the time. Typically after those times of apathy I would nearly give up having a formal time of prayer at all, only for something in the Word to fall on me afresh and I would research and formulate a new plan for activating my prayer life. In preparation for this post I was praying (while driving) and I asked that God would give me a greater intimacy with Him through prayer. Instantly I felt Him reply, “Then you will actually have to pray.” Touche. I prayed for guidance in scripture and while I automatically started flipping to the Lord’s Prayer, I was instead directed to Gethsemane. (I don’t know how to exactly explain how the Holy Spirit guides me except that there will suddenly be a thought in my head I can’t claim as my own, and when it happens I try to roll with it.) I found what I was looking for in Matthew 26:36-46:
Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”
Now that is a prime, meaty chunk of scripture. Obviously there are volumes to learn from Jesus’ prayers here, so let’s break this down into some bite-size morsels we can sink our spiritual teeth into.
I like to start with what I can most easily relate to, which, from what I’ve told you of my prayer life, should be no surprise. I am one of the sleepy disciples. I am never more exhausted nor does my pillow feel softer than when I am trying to pray before I fall asleep. Shamefully I’ll even admit I’ve consciously used prayer as a sleep aid on nights when I just can’t clear my head enough to drift off. Once, after a particularly riveting episode of a TV drama I watched before bed, I even caught myself praying for a fictional character. “Lord, please be near George and his family as they go through this difficult time. Please heal his father and give the doctors wisdom on the best forms of treatment. Lord, may Izzy…” And then I was struck by lightning. Actually, I started cracking up as I realized what I was doing, but God was certainly gracious with me yet again when I deserved a good smote-ing. Jon Courson speaks to why narcolepsy sets in so quickly in prayer is, “because Satan knows there is power in prayer and profit in Bible study. …read the Word or pray, and you can count on your eyes getting heavy, the telephone ringing, the baby crying, and your stomach rumbling.” It’s a classic diversionary tactic; being sleepy is very distracting! Ever felt like you needed to slap yourself to stay focused during a sermon? It’s not totally your fault! Unless you stayed up too late Saturday night, in which case it’s probably part of your penance. Seriously though, let’s be aware of this temptation which even those closest to Jesus fell into. Jesus asked Peter to, “Watch and pray…” Maybe this was a time that walking while praying would have been best. Or maybe just standing? Sometimes this flesh is just too weak to be able to honestly and authentically approach my holy, sovereign Savior from the comfort of a pillow-top mattress, snuggled under a fluffy down comforter. It’s time to wake up and consciously seek the Lord who condescends to seek us.
Being a bit of a cynic, I have a difficult time not reading some sarcasm into Jesus’, “So, could you not watch with me one hour?” On their way to Gethsemane Jesus predicts the disciples falling away and Peter infamously swears that even if everyone else falls away he never will, that he would die before denying Him, and we’re told all the other disciples said the same. What passionate words to be immediately followed by direct disobedience to Jesus’ request to spend time in prayer with Him! Problem is, it’s just so much easier to make big promises than to live out small, faithful choices. We commit ourselves to be salt and light within our sphere of influence, but balk at the opportunity to share Christ’s gospel for fear of the awkwardness that might ensue. We make big plans to have a time of Sabbath rest in the week, but fail to prepare for it and end up playing catch-up with that time instead. We vow to love our neighbors, but only practice that love when it’s convenient. Where else do we need to wake up and hear the rooster crowing out our daily denials? Let’s focus on faithfulness in the little things Jesus asks of us right now and by His power, according to His will, we shall surely accomplish great things.
Inside us all is this longing for greatness. We want recognition that there is something special within us. God has created us all with a unique plan and purpose to accomplish His will here on earth. Sometimes though, His will doesn’t feel like a deeply fulfilling and wonderful plan, but mostly a lot of work. This can feel discouraging when we begin to compare ourselves with others and what we see them doing. It seems greatness comes so easily to everyone but us. The disciples struggled with these feelings too. A little earlier in Matthew 18 the disciples were actually arguing over who was the greatest among them. Jesus made it clear that only through humility could they attain greatness, but still, not long after, James and John (the sons of Zebedee referenced) come to Jesus attempting to secure places of prominence in His kingdom. This riled up the other ten disciples and, again, Jesus tells them they are not to wield power to lord over others but to be great they must be the servants to all. Being a servant takes humility, hard-work, and even sacrifice. The Lord has called us all to serve one another and gifted us in unique ways to complement one another, not to compare and measure one another by. When I start to struggle with comparison, engendering either prideful or pathetic feelings, I often reflect on a quote from Spurgeon, “Beloved, it is not office, it is earnestness; it is not position, it is grace which will enable us to glorify God. …Think little of yourselves, but do not think too little of your callings.” I wonder if Peter, James, and John may have struggled with a little pride as Jesus called them out of the group to follow Him farther in to the garden. I bet the longer they spent waiting, their eyelids drooping under the weight of the Passover meal and fellowship they had just enjoyed together, the less special they felt. If those three were so tired they had to fight for consciousness in Jesus’ presence, I bet the other disciples who were a little ways away were already passed out. The plans God has for us will not always be easy and seem to rarely gain us the celebrity we secretly long for. May we pray for perseverance on the journey and not be caught sleeping when Jesus has called us to action.
So, now I know how not to pray: while sleeping or seeking status. If I want a perfect picture of how I should pray, there’s no better place to look than perfection Himself. That He was going to be pouring Himself out for us after this time of pouring himself out to His Father was no surprise to Jesus. He was a part of the great rescue plan for humanity from before the creation of the earth. Yet He still makes priority of prayer as he prepares for this tragic and momentous day. To me this a big point for starting my day off with prayer. Sometimes I can look at the calendar and have a pretty good picture of what kind of day I’m going to have, but I don’t truly know what any day will bring. While on vacation out of state I made a priority of staying committed to having a time of quiet devotion and prayer before the day started. Typically vacation seems to interrupt all my best set habits and I was determined to not break this habit. I knew it would be an emotional day as it was the one year anniversary of the death of my beloved mother in law to cancer. At that point I had no idea that this year I would again be spending my entire day in a hospital. Except this time it would be with my eldest, Emma, as she came down with appendicitis just hours later and ended up being transferred by ambulance to the nearest children’s hospital for an emergency appendectomy late into the night. Sitting alone (Mike was back at the hotel packing up with our other kids), in the middle of the night in a hospital I couldn’t remember the name of while my precious girl was undergoing surgery, I have never been more thankful I had His word and promises made to me that morning to cling to. I had written a prayer in my journal that morning after meditating on the greatness of our Lord in Psalm 145 and had written in closing, “May we feel Your tender care today.” Emma received excellent care, recovered quickly, and since we were from out of state we were given a free suite in the on-site apartment facility. I’m not trying to make a case that first thing in the morning is the only time to pray. Technically speaking, Jesus was praying at night after dinner. Although it would seem He didn’t actually get any sleep, so maybe He was also praying first thing in the (very) early morning for preparation for the day? I have just learned from my experience with Emma that having that time of focus and devotion sets me up for a day full of walking in the Spirit, no matter where the events of the day take me. It was certainly worth giving up an extra twenty minutes of sleep for.
It struck me as both odd and comforting that Jesus would seem to question His Father. He knew what the outcome would be but He prays earnestly for another way anyway. In a way I may never fully understand, Christ was completely human. Maybe His choice words for Peter also spoke to His situation, “the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Knowing the measure of the full cup of wrath He was about to drink, Jesus must have been tempted to avoid it. There’s no other reason He would pray for another way, yet He was completely without sin. His struggle with His calling, not sinful in itself, had to be in submission to divine will to avoid sin. It is not sinful to wrestle with what God has set before us as long as we are honestly pursuing His will above our own. He desires us to so fully trust Him that we would feel comfortable asking him anything; no topic is taboo with Him. We can look at our current circumstance and ask, “Is there any other way?!” As long as we also trust that He knows what is best. Christ asks if there is another way for us to be saved, but there was no other alternative. We are not saved by being ‘good’ people, attending church, or giving lots of money to special causes. It took nothing less than the shameful, brutal death of Jesus Christ on the cross to save anyone from any single sin. If there was another way the Father surely would have granted His beloved son’s request.
And yet, in the midst of this temptation, in spite of the fact He was also fully God with access to unlimited power, Jesus prays, “Your will be done.” This is how to pray in humility. This is how to pray in faith that, regardless what we think, we know His plans for us are best. This is when I realize to what extent I am a control freak. When I pray for something I want what I’m praying for, but I have to accept that God sees the big picture and knows what I truly want better than I do. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, ESV).” It’s just that it doesn’t always feel good and I have to have faith that good will come even if I don’t feel it. I have not seen one ounce of good that came from losing my precious mother in law in a nine week battle to a terribly aggressive cancer. I prayed for her healing earnestly and found it difficult to pray for “God’s will” when I just couldn’t fathom how it could be different from my own. If I’m being completely honest in the deepest part of my heart I knew she wasn’t going to be healed. I don’t know if that was the Holy Spirit trying to gently prepare me for the “no” I was going to receive, or just my own bend toward pessimism. Either way, I hold unswerving to the fact that good will come whether or not I ever see it.
Jesus prayed in preparation, for clarification, and responded with complete acceptance. That is a challenging formula to follow, and not what I was expecting. There probably isn’t a single best way to pray, although we can all agree it definitely doesn’t involve falling asleep. I also cannot expect to gain any intimacy with the Lord if I don’t actually take the time to pray. I read in a commentary that, “It’s not that the Lord condemns you for lack of prayer. It’s that the Enemy will exploit the situation.” That’s incentive right there to keep from dozing. I long to accomplish God’s will for my life and to pursue my calling with excellence, but I will not have the power to do so unless I am asking for it. Without seeking Him in prayer I will fall into temptation, in whatever form I’m currently battling against. I am completely human and my power supply is limited, but my God is omnipotent and is passionately “for” me, not against me. I will continue to pray for my God’s will rather than my own because that is the example Jesus set for me as He was reaching the pinnacle of His life, the fulfillment of His calling. Maybe it’s when we’re closest to the culmination of our calling when we will be most tempted to quit. I like how my pastor put it, that, “prayer is radical dependence on God … children calling out to our Father for strength to live the life He’s called us to.” Lord, help us to pray for strength to carry out Your will and give us the faith to trust the goodness of Your plan beyond what we can see!
I’m feeling challenged to be faithful in small ways, but to expect God-sized results. I’m going to commit to ending this year intentionally setting apart some time for daily prayer (where I’m not sleeping or, conversely, attempting to multi-task). Anyone want to join me? Let me know if there is anything I can pray for you!
Resources:
Study Bible: English Standard Version. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2008
Bloesch, Donald G. “The Misunderstanding of Prayer.” The Christian Century 22 Dec. 1971: 1492-94. ebscohost. Web. 11 Nov. 2012.
Blystra, Nick. “In Line with the Truth of the Gospel.” Fairfield Christian Reformed Church. Fairfield, CA. 14 Nov. 2012. Address.
Courson, Jon. Jon Courson’s Application Commentary. New Testament ed. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2003. 193-94. Print
MacArthur, John. The MacArthur Bible Commentary. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 2005. 1178-79. Print.
Zahavy, Tzvee. God’s Favorite Prayers. Teaneck, New Jersey: Talmudic Books Inc., 2011.