This time last year I was very pregnant with our fourth child, only six weeks away from delivery. I was excited for 2012 to begin so I would get to meet him and see how another new Marsden would transform our family’s dynamic. I was full of hope and faith in the wonderful plans God undoubtedly held for us in the blessings of another new year. I just had a feeling this was going to be my best year yet…
Now if I had been reading that on another blog I probably would have gagged and clicked back to Facebook by now.
Truth is, as excited as I was to meet Walter, spiritually I was in turmoil. I had just begun to pursue some passions I was sure the Lord was putting on my heart. I was looking at going back to school and formulating all kinds of grand schemes for the wonderful work I was going to do for the Lord. Getting pregnant didn’t just feel like a giant step backwards, it felt like a solid brick wall. How could I ever accomplish the amazing things I know I’m capable of with four kids to care for?!
I’m ashamed of that reaction, but I want to be transparent with you. I never doubted I would love this baby with all my heart. Experience had proven that somehow there is always more than enough love to go around. It did, however, feel like a daunting sentence of inescapable servitude to a tiny master who never sleeps. Mom of the year here, right? My problem, or I should say one of my problems, was with my perspective on the situation.
Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:20-21 ESV
I want to be a golden goblet! Or at least a fancy champagne flute. NOT a sippy cup. I want to be recognized for my worth just by looking at me and all my accomplishments polished to shining. Instead I need to keep a lid on everything sloshing around in this jumbled mind and be recognized by my certainly messy, always somewhat sticky exterior.
The Lord is gracious with me, as always, and I’m slowly making progress through the sippy cup season of my life. I’m learning that my life isn’t about what I can do for Him, but that I am “useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.” Sippy cups are a practical, albeit humble, vessel of my everyday life. They are mostly dependable to serve their purpose no matter how many times they’re knocked to the floor. The more I study the more I realize I don’t know, and I’m learning to be thankful for the boundaries the Lord has placed in my life so I’m not making a mess of it.
God has made all kinds of vessels to serve Him. Though we may look different superficially, we are all called to be clean internally if we are to be set apart as holy and useful. I can technically still be filled if I’m a mess on the outside, but if I’m dirty on the inside I’m not a useful cup; I contaminate anything that is poured into me. It is only through believing in Jesus’ sacrificial death, which we deserved as penalty for our dishonorable sin, that we can be cleansed inside and set apart as holy. If that is news to you, spend some time praying just telling God where you’re at in life and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Crack open a Bible and see how He speaks to you. Taking those baby steps will surely make 2013 a year that could change your future, for eternity. For those of us who are walking in a growing, maturing relationship with Christ let’s make it a point to seek out the plans of our Master regardless of what form that takes in our lives.
Ring in the New Year with me and a spiritual sippy cup of grape juice raised high, joining me on the journey of serving faithfully until it’s time to be matured into wine. Happy New Year, friends!
I’m curious, what kind of cup are you?